I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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