What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
