five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
