He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
