so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
