She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
