After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize