I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So much rum. So many feels.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
