Kiss
Puke
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
