yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
