I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
