if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
