yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
