haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
