I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
