Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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