We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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