Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize