I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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