So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
