College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
