i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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