oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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