nut hugger
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
