Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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