so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
