Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
