He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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