Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
