gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just cropdusted the office
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize