..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
