We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize