I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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