just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
