you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
