Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
