3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
