Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
