Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize