The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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