You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize