didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
