I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
