its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize