I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
