He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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