Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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