Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
