lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
