I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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