There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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