Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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