Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
