Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
