if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
did you just send me my own nude
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize