why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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