Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
