I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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