Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Acid is not a monday night drug
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
