i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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