It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
