The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
