if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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