Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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