A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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