You're so nebulous sometimes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
