if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
