Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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