I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This baby is an asshole
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
