I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
