I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
