watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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