I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
