We won't sleep together?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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