you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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