dude i'm inner monologue high
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
