you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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