Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
