i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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