all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
