honey bunches of taint.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
