btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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