wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
