Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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