so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize