Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
