Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
