well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
