white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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